TikTok creator @anisesarchive posted a video listing what she considers signs of a “loser” woman, advising viewers to be mindful of these traits in their friendships. The video has received 5.9 million views and more than 5,490 comments.
Anise begins by pointing out that men are often labeled “losers” based on their milestones and behavior, arguing that the same can be said about women. As she has gotten older, she says, she has noticed more women exhibiting what she considers “loser” behavior. She argues that some women get away with these traits because of the misconception that women are above being labeled losers.
@anisesarchive I know this is gonna make people madddd but I have to talk about it, I’m tired of seeing women get away with loser nonsense so if I have to bring shame back all by myself the whoopty do bc this stuff is not cute at all.
♬ original sound - anisesarchive
Anise goes on to outline several behaviors she believes are signs of a “loser” archetype among women, encouraging viewers to recognize them in their friendships. She argues that identifying these traits can help people avoid adopting similar behaviors themselves.
The first sign, according to Anise, is frequently comparing yourself with other women or comparing yourself with a friend. She says there is a difference between feeling insecure and taking that insecurity out on other people.
“It’s one thing to be insecure, but it’s another thing to be insecure and constantly taking it out on other people who have nothing to do with that,” she says.
Anise argues that this behavior reflects personal issues that need to be addressed, and advises viewers to distance themselves from friends who repeatedly act this way.
Anise says gossip, a lack of hobbies and being male-centered are red flags
The second sign Anise identifies is constantly talking about men. If every conversation with a friend circles back to men or revolves around male attention, she considers that “loser” behavior.
She connects this to her third sign: having no hobbies. Anise argues that women who lack interests of their own may devote too much time and energy to men, focusing on how to get a man, how to keep one or how to pursue someone else’s partner.
Anise’s next sign is habitual gossiping. She distinguishes between discussing a personal situation and making a pastime out of talking about people who have done nothing to you. She describes the latter as “mean girl” behavior, which she also considers “loser” behavior. She adds that constantly focusing on celebrity gossip or celebrities’ lives falls into this category.
Anise then lists several other traits: lacking the discipline to follow through on plans, having friends who express doubt about your goals and dating men she considers “losers.”
She explains that when two friends have similar goals, one may become jealous if the other makes progress while she struggles to follow through. Anise argues that this jealousy can lead a friend to discourage the other person’s plans, particularly when that person’s progress highlights what she sees as her own lack of effort.
Finally, Anise says the type of man a woman dates can be a sign of her own self-respect. “Women who date losers don’t have any respect for themselves. . . Don’t have any love for themselves,” she says. She concludes, “And people who do not have self-respect for themselves and love for themselves cannot respect or love you.”
Reactions to the video came from women who focused largely on the hobbies they have in their own lives, while agreeing with everything Anise said. One commenter listed examples of things that are hobbies and things are not. She wrote, "Baking, reading, knitting, crocheting, journaling, yoga, working out -- all hobbies!!! Shopping and gossiping is not lol."
Another commenter added, "Lack of accountability/victim attitude when it comes to their life and habits. . . it's so exhausting."
A separate commenter agreed that being male-centered is annoying. She wrote, "Male centered at our big age is so annoying. . . like can we talk about other things?"
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the personal experiences or opinions shared in the video, which are based on @anisesarchive’s characterization of the behaviors she considers signs of a “loser” woman.
