TikTok creator @yada_awakening posted a video arguing that men are the real “gold diggers” in modern dating, challenging the common stereotype that the label primarily applies to women. The video has amassed 1.1 million views and nearly 4,500 comments.
YadaAwakening begins by explaining why he believes some men fit the “gold digger” label. He points to men who expect intimacy relatively quickly while, in his view, failing to offer the same level of consideration or effort in return.
@yada_awakening Men are the real gold diggers, but they hide it behind fake masculinity and borrowed confidence. They demand softness from women they’ve hardened. They expect submission from women they’ve exhausted. They want loyalty from women they’ve broken… and then call you ungrateful when you stop carrying their dead weight. They want a woman to work full-time, be their therapist, raise their children, build their confidence, fix their past, and still show up smiling, while they offer nothing but a fragile ego and inconsistent effort. A narcissistic man will drain you financially, emotionally, spiritually, and still swear he’s “the prize.” He will use your love like a life raft and then blame you for drowning. Ladies, stop letting men who can’t even stabilize their own nervous system destabilize yours. Stop loving men who can’t level up your life, can’t create peace, and can’t love you in the way your soul has been begging to be loved. He’s not overwhelmed, he’s under-built. He’s not confused, he’s manipulative. He’s not your partner, he’s a gold digger with a beard and entitlement issues. Choose the man who pours into you. Not the one who collects from you. If your fathers and grandfathers didn’t teach you, I am! NDBA No Dusty Bums Allowed! #ministeryahdanyada #womenempowerment #ndba #family
♬ original sound - YadaAwakening
He goes on to argue that some men expect women to be submissive and cooperative in relationships while not being willing or able to fully provide for their partners. He also says some men demand respect from women while behaving disrespectfully themselves.
Yada argues that the same dynamic applies to loyalty. He says some men expect complete loyalty from their partners while being disloyal themselves. He also claims that some men make women feel guilty for expecting traditional forms of male behavior, such as providing financially, taking on certain household responsibilities and showing respect regardless of their emotional state.
Yada says men can manipulate women into thinking they are “gold diggers”
Yada cautions women against allowing men to convince them that they are gold diggers simply because they expect certain things from a partner. “They want you to be a woman without them being men,” he says.
He encourages women to prioritize themselves and says they should not be afraid to start over, even if that means doing so alone. Yada also addresses some of the beliefs and stereotypes he says men use to discourage women from leaving relationships. One example is the idea that single mothers are less desirable to potential partners.
“That’s a lie! There’s a lot of men that will take you with children,” he says.
He then addresses another common concern about age and dating, saying some men and broader social expectations can make women feel that they become less desirable as they get older. “They’ll tell you you’re getting too old. Nobody’s gonna want you. . . That’s a lie! There’s a lot of men that’s into older women,” he says.
Yada also pushes back against the idea that women with emotional baggage will struggle to find partners, saying there are men who are willing to help a woman heal. He ultimately reiterates his argument that men can be the real “gold diggers,” adding that he considers gold diggers to be narcissistic and manipulative.
The video resonated with many women in the comments, with several agreeing with Yada’s perspective and sharing their own experiences with men and modern dating.
One commenter said whenever she brings up the topic of finances with her man, he says all women want is a rich man. She wrote, "Every time I mention money to my 'man'he say he got to be a rich man to be wanted. Do any of y'all women want a broke man with no job? Or am I tripping. . . I'm tired of waiting for him to provide."
Another commenter said she raised her sons to be the kind of man men need to be. She wrote, "My son 22 and paying ALL the bills while his girlfriend go to school. I went through it with so called men but my sons were raised RIGHT."
A separate commenter said Yada described her ex perfectly. She wrote, "This is my ex to the T. . . he did all this!!! And want me to go 50/50."
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the claims made in the video, which are based solely on @yada_awakening’s opinions about gender roles, traditional relationships and the expectations some men place on women in modern dating.
