Woman Opens Up About Being Judged for Not Wanting Children: “Why Is This Always a Topic?”

A woman's post on r/GirlDinnerDiaries has drawn attention online after she shared her frustration with being repeatedly questioned about her decision not to have children.

According to the poster, she often feels pressured to explain why she is childfree, particularly during conversations with friends, family members, and acquaintances. She said the repeated questions have left her feeling frustrated and judged.

The user explained that while choosing not to have children is a personal decision, she believes people frequently make assumptions about those who do not want to become parents. She described a recent interaction that left her upset and prompted her to share her experience on Reddit.

Being childfree is difficult according to Reddit

“I’m childfree, and I constantly feel like I have to justify my existence and my choice. Even worse bc im a woman and none of my male childfree friends deal with this s***, or if they do, it is nowhere NEAR the same extent as me. I never offer this information unprompted. Parents ALWAYS bring up children and ask me when I want them. unprompted. I don’t understand why they do this,” she wrote.

She continued, “I hate the double standards. I don’t want kids; I never wanted kids, and I don’t like them. Stop trying to force me to like them. i like my money, i like my peace, i like my solitude, i like sleeping in, i like being single, i hate germs, i hate loud noises, i hate spending time with other people’s kids, i like being able to do what i want when i want, and motherhood to me would be modern day slavery because the only way i would do it is if i was forced to against my will, and fuck that shit. No, I don’t want to babysit your kid. I specifically did not have kids ON PURPOSE.” She finished by writing, “Just venting. I wish parents were as kind to us childfree people as they expect us to be to them. I wish being childfree was easy.”

The post prompted a range of reactions from Reddit users. One commenter wrote, “It’s exhausting being a woman. We’re not allowed to make choices. Even if you DID choose kids, you’d have to deal with ‘Why are you working? Why are you not working?’"

Another user wrote, "You'll also get other opinions on how you should live your life and what you should do with your body. You're going to get unsolicited opinions either way. Enjoy your wonderful, quiet life with the people and animals you love."

Several commenters who identified themselves as parents also agreed with the poster. One commented, “I am also a mom of one, soon to be two. When we were dealing with infertility, I quickly learned to never, ever ask anyone whether they want kids and when they are planning to have them. I just wish it was common courtesy not to pry, because it’s literally no one’s business.”