A Reddit post shared by r/GirlDinnerDiaries describes the unexpected response of a young woman’s mother to her good news. She said she’s always sought her mom’s praise, even as an adult, but she wasn’t expecting her to advise her to decline two job offers after spending months without work.
The writer began by saying that she was almost 30 years old and had been unemployed since May of this year. She started applying for jobs and was scheduled for two separate job interviews within the same week.
After deliberating between the two positions, she said she finally chose the first position because it was a government-adjacent role, meaning that her role would be closely affiliated with the public sector. In addition, she said it would be paying her biggest salary to date.
She was so ecstatic about her new job that she wanted to share the news with her mom. She was even more proud of herself for landing not just one, but two job offers without a bachelor’s degree. But when she broke the news to her mother, she said her mom advised her to decline both job offers and continue searching for something else.
Her Mother Told Her to Decline the Two Job Offers Because of Her Bipolar Disorder
She explained that her mother’s suggestion came about because the job she chose requires a bit of driving. She had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, which she said contributed to a vehicular accident when she was 21 years old. However, she’s been on medication ever since the diagnosis.
She went on to say that she took the job despite her mother’s suggestion, but was triggered by the fact that her mother didn’t even congratulate her or recognize her accomplishment. She saw it as her mother’s attempt to exercise any bit of control or authority she had left over her daughter, although she’s been married and living on her own for more than 10 years now.
She continued to explain that she always felt the need to seek her mother’s praise and felt unloved even as an adult because she didn’t receive it.
In reacting to the post, many comments congratulated her on landing her new job. Others recommended books for her to read to help deal with the relationship with her mother. One commenter wrote, "Karyl Mcbride's book "Will I Ever be Enough" and Lindsay Gibson's "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" might hit hard for you. After a million years of therapy and psychiatry, Gibson's book was what actually got through to me and set me free."
Another commenter said they were forced to turn down a good job because of their mother as well. They wrote, "Dude my mom wants to keep me in the mf house and claim me as a dependent so she gets money back on taxes and she’s vying for a government check. This has happened to me soooo many times. Turned down a really good job 4 months ago and f-----g regret it. You’re not alone."
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the events described in the post, which are based solely on the Reddit user’s account of her unemployment, job offers and relationship with her mother.
