A woman posted in r/TwoXChromosomes describing a financial arrangement with her boyfriend that she said left her confused and seeking advice.
Explaining her situation, the woman started her post by writing, “A year ago, my boyfriend and I moved into a big house with his dad. His dad had gotten divorced, and suddenly the mortgage and the house itself were just too much for him to handle.”
She wrote that he had agreed to take them in if they helped pay the mortgage. In return, the house would eventually become theirs, and he would move out in a few years.
The woman also claimed that before this happened, she and her boyfriend were renting an apartment. “When we were moving in, I asked my boyfriend how we were going to handle the costs and how much his dad actually wanted from us,” she wrote. In response, he had told her, “I would be sending him 10k, which was the exact same amount I was contributing to our previous rent.”
The woman wrote that she was keeping the currency unspecified to protect her identity. She further added, “Back then, though, I was making a bit more—around 20k—and he was making about 26k. He was also paying 10k plus covering our groceries.” She said her income had dropped to approximately $15,000 to $17,000 after she enrolled in university.
The woman claimed that her boyfriend knew about these things, yet she is paying the 10K for the house. Having said that, she also wrote, “His situation changed too—he started a new job and is now pulling in around 60–70 K a month.”
She wrote, “Yesterday, his dad and I were talking about something, and we accidentally stumbled onto the topic of how much our shared living situation costs. And when I told him I send (to my bf) 10k for my share of the rent in this house, his dad was completely shocked.”
She further wrote that her boyfriend’s dad did not tell her the exact amount he expects from them as a couple. He also did not reveal the mortgage amount or the cost of utilities. However, she wrote, “He did say he was really surprised I was sending my boyfriend that much money and that it made absolutely no sense to him.”
Revealing what her boyfriend’s father told her, she wrote, “He told me he’s going to talk to my boyfriend first, and then my boyfriend and I need to have a sit-down, because he feels that our setup—and my situation specifically—isn't fair at all. So right now, I'm honestly just completely confused.”
She expressed her confusion about her boyfriend not being transparent with her about money and why no one was telling her how much the house actually costs. She also speculated that her boyfriend might be saving money for a business venture, noting that his current work was not fulfilling for him.
“So I'm starting to think he might be stashing away a huge chunk of his own money and using mine to pay our shared rent to his dad... Honestly, I just don't know,” she wrote. In conclusion, she wrote, “I'm super anxious about the conversation we're about to have. I don't know how to look at this whole thing. I just find it really telling that his dad was that shocked to find this out.”
Supporting the woman, one commenter wrote, “Time for a direct conversation with your boyfriend. He needs to show you ALL the numbers.” Another commenter wrote, “Nope. He clearly lied his face off about money. So much so that Dad was shocked. Get out now.”
This article is based on a post shared by u/littleredbird1991 in r/TwoXChromosomes on Reddit. The Daily Dot could not independently verify the financial details described, the identity of those involved, or any of the conversations recounted in the post.
