A woman on TikTok is sharing her theory about why some people may suddenly become interested in their friends’ partners after seeing them in happy relationships. TikTok user @lyssokada, who goes by Lyss, discussed what she describes as a “grass is greener” effect in relationships. Her video has received 605,500 views and 946 comments.
“I think one of the craziest things in the world, and we don't talk about it enough, is how women will only want your man because he's your man,” she begins. Lyss clarified that she wasn’t necessarily saying these men weren’t attractive before. Instead, she believes their perceived desirability can change once another woman sees them making their friend happy.
“Before they knew that, like, you were with him and you were happy and he was doing everything for you and everything was great. Nobody was really checking for him,” she said.
But once the relationship becomes visible, Lyss believes some women may begin wanting the same things their friends have.
“Now that they know that you are with him, now that you're posted up happy with him, now that he's buying you flowers and he's making you happy and you're going on vacations and going on date nights, all of a sudden he looks so attractive to other women,” she said. “Like they see another pretty girl that's happy and smiling and they're like, ‘I want what she has.’”
Lyss also discussed what she sees as competitiveness among women and suggested that social media may contribute to the phenomenon by making other people’s relationships more visible.
@lyssokada “Omg does he have a brother?” (She wants your man)
♬ original sound - Lyss?Okada
TikTok Users Discuss Why Someone Might Want Their Friend’s Relationship
Lyss’s theory sparked discussion in the comments, with some users saying they believed people may be interested in their friends’ relationships because they want the lifestyle or happiness they see.
“Some women don’t really want your man, they just wanna BE YOU & have your life. Thats why I never make my love life public,” one user wrote.
“It’s a psychological thing. People see you with that person and picture themselves with your life. Therefore they go for what you have. This is why you keep things private,” another commenter said.
Another user said the situation can feel insulting because it may suggest that someone believes they could have the same partner if they wanted him.
“It’s kind of insulting tbh cause they’re basically saying in their mind ‘I could have him too if I wanted him,’ basically insinuating that they’re better than their ‘friend’ or the girl,” they wrote.
The discussion also touched on how comparisons between relationships can affect friendships, particularly when people only see the positive parts of someone else’s relationship online.
While jealousy and comparison can occur in relationships and friendships, Lyss’s video focuses on her personal perspective on why some people may become interested in a friend’s partner after seeing the relationship from the outside.
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the experiences or interpretations shared in the video, which are based solely on @lyssokada’s perspective and observations shared on TikTok.
