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‘4 people in one month’: 18 therapists share the wildest moments that tested their professional neutrality

User u/DealSoggy6952 recently took to the AskReddit sub to ask therapists, "What's been your biggest 'I know I'm not supposed to judge, but holy sh*t' moment?" In the world of therapy, professionals strive to maintain objectivity and refrain from judgment. This thread reveals instances where therapists found this neutrality tested. 

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The importance of therapy to deal with trauma

Therapists often encounter cases involving severe trauma, abuse, and neglect. Maintaining professional boundaries while managing personal reactions is a delicate balance. According to a study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, many therapists report experiencing significant emotional distress related to their clients' experiences, something that is called "countertransference."

According to an article on Talkspace, 20% of adults in the United States experience mental health issues, and the number goes up to 25% globally. Additionally, “9.8 million Americans, will experience a mental illness this year that is serious enough to interfere with or impact major life activities.” Meanwhile, 21.4% of kids from the age of 13-18 also have mental health disorders, many of them needing therapy to process.

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There are also moments from people who are completely unaware that what they are saying or doing is wrong. In these instances, the therapists say they struggle to keep their professionalism in the face of negligence or obliviousness.

Here are 18 AskReddit stories from therapists about clients who pushed them to the brink of judgment:

1.

Reddit comment that reads, "When I was an intern in my MSW program I had a 19 year old client tell me she was pregnant, didn't know who the dad was but had narrowed it down to 3 guys, was NOT going to stop smoking meth and had no intention of attending her obgyn appointments. However, she was going to keep the baby to let her mom raise it, like she did with her other children."
u/SpareToothbrush via Reddit
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2.

Reddit comment that reads, "Sitting in a couples session. First session ever with them. And they are openly discussing how they have 10 children between them (from previous relationships) and regularly physically fight each other.Both described raging so hard they would black out and not remember fights.Unfortunately after they were unwilling to make a pledge that they would no longer use violence I eventually had to end our therapeutic relationship."
u/Flimsy-Opportunity-9 via Reddit

3.

Reddit comment that reads, "I once had a man who was attending family therapy with his 3 children, admit that his last child (a girl) was an 'accident we tried to abort - we only wanted boys'. The sad thing is, the girl didn’t even look bothered; she had clearly heard it all before. They were attending family therapy as the girl was actively suicidal and they 'didn’t know why.'"
u/TheAnxiousPangolin via Reddit
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4.

Reddit comment about things clients say to therapists.
u/unicornofdemocracy via Reddit

5. "I had a preteen client whose guardian kept requesting progress notes to see how they’ve “been doing”. It’s against clinic policy for clients and parents/guardians to have access to the notes; they’re allowed to have access to everything else though.

The client was “very defiant” to everyone but was a wonderful kid throughout their treatment with me. When I met both with the guardian and parent, who both insisted on knowing everything about the kid, everything started making sense.

Once the parent requested to switch therapists only because I declined their request to the notes, I knew how unhealthy the family dynamics were. I felt bad for the kid because they were opening up more about the family dynamics and how they impacted them; we had a good therapeutic relationship."—u/Spiritual-Map1510

6.

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Reddit comment that reads, "When clients come out very casually and say a family member that they've mentioned is still in their lives raped them when they were young."
u/atticusfinch1973 via Reddit

7.

Reddit comment that reads, "It is so common. I specialize in trauma. It is super common that the abuser is still active in the family and the victim expected to regularly interact with them. Even cases where the victim is the caregiver for a now elderly rapist. Victim is expected to 'forgive', or is not believed, or it is all just conveniently swept under the rug."
u/FionaTheFierce via Reddit

8.

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Reddit comment that reads, "I work as a mental health counselor (I’m licensed as a marriage & family therapist) at a middle school (ages 11-14), I never judge any of the kids actions but some of these parents though. I have had kids literally tell me they’re suicidal and then I have to call their parent who is effectively annoyed that they have to take their kid to get assessed. I also had a kid in the past who’s parent was about to move across country for some woman they met on the internet and knew for 2 months! Some scary stuff."
u/deweyriley96 via Reddit

9.

"I was in the mental hospital after trying to kms and this poor guy was so zonked out on meds and it was because his parents died and then a week later his daughter and fiancé died.

4 people in one month. I don’t know how anybody is supposed to carry so much all at once. But they just put him on meds and tried to tell him life is worth living. Felt like they were addressing depression instead of grief. I think about him sometimes and that was 6 years ago."—u/HelpfulAnt9499

10.

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Reddit comment that reads, "I worked with a teenager who was struggling with eating disorders, to the point she’d been hospitalized for organ damage at one point a few months before. I went to dinner with the girl and her mother. Her mom spent the entire dinner counting the individual pieces of rice she (the mom) was eating so she could accurately count the calories she consumed. I asked the mom to stop and she just stared at me and asked why she would do that because she had to watch her figure. I wonder where the 15 year old got her eating disorder from…"
u/othybear via Reddit

11.

Reddit comment that reads, "The dad that told me I had 2.5 sessions to 'fix' his daughter.My teenage client who threatened to assault me while his father just sat there.Another teenage client who got a giant tattoo of a band she had never heard of.An extremely abusive (like I got physically sick reading the reports of what she did to her children) mother who had her children taken by CPS, complaining about the food at the foster home not being fresh enough."
u/Mission_Muscle812 via Reddit

12.

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Reddit comment that reads, "a client once proudly told me they brush their teeth once a week because 'they don’t want to wear them out and i was likeeee... oh sh*t (rofl emoji)"
u/lollie22x via Reddit

13.

"Maybe not the holy sh*t you’re thinking of but I get that feeling when I think about all of the ways my clients have been able to go on with their lives despite how much sh*t they have had to carry."—u/PurpleConversation36

14.

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Reddit comment that reads, "I had a woman once bring in her child for scholastic issues. The child clearly had Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. I asked her gently if she consumed alcohol while pregnant, which she confirmed. When I told her that is likely the cause of the scholastic issues, she said "I don't feel bad about it".FAS in general gives me a case of the WTFs."
u/Complete-Hurry-7160 via Reddit

15.

Reddit comment that reads, "I heard concerning information about the way a child was being treated (not my patient, but a sibling of the patient that I had never met), called CPS and reported it that day, and the following day found out the child had died. It was traumatizing, and 6 years later I still think about it a lot."
u/rorypotter77 via Reddit

16.

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Reddit comment that reads, "Had a patient in a group ask for advice because she was feeling pressured into sex she really didn't want to have. A 'friend' had traveled 2 hours to see her and gotten a hotel room for them. The group heard her out, asked questions, and the consensus was something to the effect of 'yeah, you probably owe it to him.'It remains one of the only times I've dropped any effort at experiential/socratic questioning and just flatly told people 'absolutely not.'"
u/Not_the_tractor via Reddit

17.

Reddit comment that reads, "Mother gave up kids to stay with a pedophile"
u/Civil-Instance2110 via Reddit

18.

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Reddit comment about things clients say to therapists.
u/DestinyPandaUser via Reddit

For more information about suicide prevention or to speak with someone confidentially, contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.) or Samaritans (U.K.).

If you are a teen dealing with depression or other mental health issues, see PBS.org for a list of resources and organizations that can help you. If you are an adult, see Mental Health Resources.

If you are a survivor of domestic abuse or want more information on domestic violence and resources for victims, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline online or at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

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More AskReddit roundups:

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