Parenting 101 often includes teaching kids to share. Early sharing education helps kids develop empathy, social skills, and emotional regulation, according to the Cleveland Clinic.
Lottie Weaver, a mother of three daughters, claims that although "sharing is caring," she is teaching her kids that they don’t “always” have to share with others.
Weaver gave an explanation of her controversial opinion and the reasons behind her “why.” She wrote, “I said it and I’ll say it again, I don’t make my kids share!” as the caption of the TikTok video.
According to Weaver, her kids “don’t have to share their toys or their snacks or literally any of their things with your kids.” “If we are out and about at the park or some communal play place, if my kids have a scooter or toy or bubbles, they’re not sharing with your kids,” she goes on to explain.
“They don’t have to. I will never ever make my kids share the stuff that they brought with another child.” The mother of three daughters then gives three reasons for her opinion: “Number one: you should’ve brought your own sh*t.”
She goes on with her reasons, “Number two: that’s their toy. They don’t have to share with you.” She argues, Number three: you don’t have to do something just because somebody asks.”
According to Upworthy, she goes into further detail about her third reason, “I think especially for women, that is really important to learn. For girls growing up, just because someone says, ‘Hey can I have this’ or ‘Hey can I do this’…you don’t have to say yes. They should’ve brought their own toys.”
Weaver clarifies that she does not discourage sharing, either. She said, “Now, if my kids want to share, yeah share! But as soon as they’re like, ‘Hey, they’re not giving my stuff back. I’m done sharing.’”
She continues, “That’s when my *ss is going over there saying, ‘Cough it up [with a gesturing motion]. Cough it up. Your mommy should have brought you your own toys. We don’t have to share, okay?”
Weaver also shares that the location of the sharing is important. “Now if you come to my house for a playdate, that’s very different, right? Because we are welcoming them into our space,” she said.
“But if we are out and about, and we don’t know each other very well—even if we do know each other very well, and my kid doesn’t want to share her doll with your kid, she doesn’t have to.”
Viewers were moved by Weaver’s video. While some expressed support, other’s expressed disapproval. “I’m so sad as a teacher this is literally the foundation of learning. Made me unfollow,” one commenter wrote.
“Oof I tell my kids, don’t bring toys if you’re not willing to share it,” another commenter wrote. “I disagree. My kiddo will definitely be sharing. ESPECIALLY if another kiddo doesn’t have a toy,” a third commenter wrote. Another one wrote, “The real flex is raising a child who is friendly, empathetic and WANTS to share.”
Some viewers agreed with her writing, “She’s right tho and yall mad." Another one wrote, “Adults don’t have to share so why do kids? But … sharing is caring. And it’s always a nice thing to do.”
