‘If Someone Is Interested in You, They’ll Reach Out’: From Ghosting to Getting Cheated On, Men Share the Moments That Made Them Stop Dating

A post on r/AskReddit asked men who are single by choice to share what led them to stop dating. The post had gathered over 2,400 upvotes and 2,900 comments at the time of writing.

One commenter described his own history of relationships ending simply because he stopped initiating text conversations first, saying, "The amount of 'relationships' that have ended simply by me not initiating the first text in a day is in the double digits."

He recalled one woman he spoke with daily for about three months who eventually asked why he had stopped texting her — though he said he had been waiting for her to reach out the entire time.

He wrote, "If someone is interested in you they'll reach out and if you never hear from them then they probably didn't care."

Another described a similar situation involving a woman he dated who seemed quiet and distant, so he let the relationship "fall off" when she wasn't texting him without his own initiation. He said the same behavior repeated when he asked her out again a year later. He argued, "Women if they want a good man, need to take some initiative to get a good man," while acknowledging that women who take a more passive approach are often criticized.

A different commenter said he avoids dating out of concern that financial expectations in modern relationships often reduce a man's perceived value to his income and caretaking ability.

He wrote, "I dislike being pressured to do everything/pay for everything because it's 'expected.' I don't want my value of a human being to be based on my money and being a caretaker for another human being," concluding, "Simpler to just exist alone, struggle for my own issues, pay for my own stuff."

Another commenter said he has remained single for nearly a decade despite having been in long-term relationships, explaining that he values his independence over partnership and does not want to lower his standards as a partner just to avoid being alone.

He wrote, "I'm just not willing to do that - and I don't want to be a shitty partner just for the sake of having a relationship."

Another commenter described taking a six-year break from dating after a divorce, and said returning to the dating pool afterward nearly made him give up again because of how difficult he found it.

He wrote he is "now married again," but questioned whether dating conditions have improved since the COVID-19 pandemic.

A different commenter described waiting six years after being cheated on before dating again, only to marry a woman years later who, after six years together, also cheated on him and gave him a sexually transmitted infection. He said he is unsure whether he will be able to trust a partner again.

The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the personal experiences shared in this post. The details above reflect the original commenters' accounts as shared on Reddit.