A Reddit user said a friend became upset after they were unable to join a group dinner because they failed to confirm their attendance before the RSVP deadline. The post, shared on r/AmItheAsshole, described the writer’s dilemma after they had to exclude a friend from a group dinner because the friend did not respond before the deadline. The writer said they gave everyone a few days to confirm because they needed to provide the restaurant with an accurate head count.
The writer said they organized a small outing for a group of close friends and told everyone that they needed to confirm their availability by Friday. They also made it clear that anyone who did not respond by the deadline would not be guaranteed a seat.
According to the post, everyone responded except one person. When the group arrived at the restaurant, the nonresponding friend showed up expecting to join them. However, the restaurant was already at capacity, and there was no room for an additional guest.
Friend Blamed Organizer for Not Saving a Seat
The friend reportedly became upset with the organizer and argued that they should have reserved a seat anyway because they “were probably coming.” The writer said they had given everyone the same deadline and only included people who confirmed their attendance in the reservation.
The friend reportedly continued to argue that the organizer could have asked the restaurant to squeeze in one more person. They also accused the organizer of embarrassing them in front of the other guests.
The writer said they understood that the situation may have been embarrassing for their friend but maintained that the RSVP deadline had been clearly communicated. They also said it would not have been fair to disrupt the group’s dinner by trying to accommodate someone who had not confirmed.
Reactions to the post by commenters were in full support of the way the writer handled the situation, with many of them calling out the lack of accountability and entitlement of the non-responding friend. One commenter wrote, "NTA, the instructions were clear, the venue was full. People like this need to be held to account."
Another commenter pointed out that the accuracy of a dining party beforehand is important to a restaurant. They wrote, "The 'I knew they were probably coming argumemt' is the part that stands out. Probably coming is not a confrimation. It is the kind of assumption that works when there are no logistics involved and completely falls apart when a restaurant needs an accurate number. OP gave everyone the same deadline. One person decided it didnt apply to them and found out it did."
A separate commenter said the non-responding friend lacked self-awareness as well as responsibility for their actions. They wrote, "If people don’t realize real consequences for their actions… they will never ever change, and rather than turning it on you, they should have apologized. A bit of self awareness would go a long way."
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the details of the incident, which are based solely on the original poster’s account shared on r/AmItheAsshole.
