A Woman Asked Two Older Men to Leave Her Pub Table — Internet Says That’s Basic Etiquette, Not Rudeness

On the popular subreddit Am I the Asshole, a 23-year-old woman has wondered if she has been rude in asking two older men to leave the table at a busy pub in the UK. The poster, who went by u/Puzzleheaded_Sir_640, spoke of an uncomfortable situation that occurred when she went to a pub with her friend. The two of them have full-time jobs, the OP said, so they had not seen each other for two to three weeks and wanted to catch up.

Even though the pub was crowded, a few tables were still open when they arrived. The two young women selected a booth-type table which could seat four people, as they would either move it or share the table if a bigger group wanted the space.

Yet two older men, whom she estimated to be in their seventies or eighties, came and sat down at their table without asking. One put his coat on the chair opposite her, and the other got into the booth beside her. Apparently, one of them said, "Boy, it's so busy today."

The woman mentioned that there were other tables available, one of which had just opened up behind them. Also, the two women had already placed orders for food and drinks. Then the man sitting next to the OP said that they, too, were getting food. Eventually, though, his friend pulled up his coat and said, "Come on, it's clear they don't want us here."

The two men went away, and the women carried on with their meal. However, the OP was still wondering if she had broken an unspoken rule about pub etiquette in the UK.

The post has 2,400 upvotes as of publication, and a number of the commenters agreed that it was reasonable for the woman to ask the men to leave. "It's basic politeness to ask before joining someone's table," one commented. Another noted that it is normal to share a table when a pub is actually full, but the men should have asked first.

Commenters also distinguished between communal seating, which is common at some UK pubs, and joining a booth that was already occupied by another group without asking. Many of them said it was the men's choice to sit directly beside the women rather than selecting another table, which is exactly what made the situation uncomfortable.

The OP later explained that the pub was a Wetherspoons pub, which is a chain of pubs in the UK. She also said that she was going through some personal difficulties and therefore wanted a quiet evening with her friend. Moreover, she mentioned that the booth was right-angled, which made her feel confined when one of the men sat down next to her.

However, in certain traditional pubs in the UK, particularly those which have communal tables or a limited number of seats, sharing tables is part of the social atmosphere. Yet this does not mean that one is always allowed to join any table that is occupied.

The woman also said that she later found a section of seating which had been blocked from view from their booth. She said the area had plenty of open seating, meaning the men could have easily sat elsewhere.