Very Demure, Very Mindful is a satirical TikTok trend declaring how people should act while engaging in everyday activities. It started with TikToker Jools Lebron, who seemed to be imitating a specific type of video, perhaps referencing the recent tradwife trend, the “clean girl” aesthetic, or other content advising women to abide by traditional gender norms.
Other users repurposed the sound from the original video or made their own entries until the phrase “very demure, very mindful” was trending, along with “demuremaxxing” and “demuretsey.”
What does ‘demure’ mean?
According to Merriam-Webster, the word “demure” means “affectedly modest, reserved, or serious” and can also mean “coy” in some contexts. For the demure TikTok meme, people appear to be using it to mean modest and reserved in a quiet, hyper-feminine sense.
In the original video that sparked the trend, the TikToker speaks about how she wears makeup to work and does her hair in a traditionally feminine manner with a long, straight wig and a braid, and applies perfume.
Why is everyone using the word ‘demure’ on TikTok?
One thing about TikTok is that when the mostly young users come across a word they haven’t heard before, especially in a comical context, they tend to start repeating it over and over like a flock of trained parrots. Parrots with the ability to make TikTok videos, that is.
On August 2, 2024, user @joolieannie or Jools Lebron made one of her “makeup comedy” videos talking about how she makes herself look demure for work.
“See how I come to work?” she says. “Very demure. I do my makeup. I lay my wig. I do a little braid. I flat iron my hair. I do chi chis out. I do Viral Vanilla. Very demure, very mindful. Let’s not forget to be demure, divas.”
The video gained over 2.7 million views in 10 days. Another entry in the same vein, in which she repeated the line “very demure, very mindful” and used the term “modest” gained 7.6 million views.
Demure TikTok meme spreads to Bob the Drag Queen
As the original videos went viral, the trend eventually made its way to RuPaul’s Drag Race winner Bob the Drag Queen. The performer made a TikTok using the sound from Lebron’s second post about being demure at work, applying makeup with lip-syncing along. This one gained over 1.2 million views in a day.
Meanwhile, others spread the demure TikTok meme by creating videos about being demure in everyday situations. The less it made sense to be demure in that situation—such as going to the airport or eating a sandwich—the better, turning it into a satire by rendering it almost nonsensical.
Demuremaxxing and demuretsey
It wasn’t long before the term “demuremaxxing” began to trend on the platform, following in the footsteps of similar trends. TikTokers and other meme fans often use the suffix “maxxing” to describe the action of taking a trend to the extreme. “Demuremaxxing” would then describe attempts to be as demure as possible.
“Demuretsey” combines the words “demure” and “cutesy” and refers to a related state of being that adds cuteness to the recipe. Lebron made another video explaining how to be demuretsey on August 10, netting another 1.8 million views.
Demure TikTok drama
TikTok creator Trap Syleena accused Jools Lebron of stealing
"The whole demure trend is literally something that I made back in 2020, 2021," Syleena said.
TikToker @meychelgossips commented on the situation and posted screenshots of fans, many of whom criticized Syleena for publically claiming the trend as her own. In response, Syleena shared an article attributing the use of the terms "timorous, petite, and demure" to her, as well as a video "proving" she originated the Very Demure trend in May 2022.
In the video, Syleena eats a salad and says into the camera, "I'm very petite, very demure, I only eat Greek salads."
On Tuesday, August 13, Jools posted a TikTok honoring the "many demure divas who have come before me," and even shouted out Syleena. "Demure is just a way of life for the girls, for the dolls like me," she said.
"Who is the original demure?" she asks. "Well, all of us."
The very best Very Demure, Very Mindful memes
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